You feel that no one listens to you, but (however you perceive it), we have listened and this is what we have heard. You have said how you feel and have felt*:
And yet you also say: “I do not need to be ‘fixed’. There is nothing wrong with me.” (An exact quote.)
empty discouraged abused guilty numb disappointed rejected shamed worthless angry unlovable “I have no family.” hopeless alone & lonely distrusting “No one understands.” not deserving bullied self-loathing
Dear, dear Friend: Please, please know—there was only ONE person ever born into this world who did not need to be “fixed.” ALL the rest of us desperately need fixing1 (healing) with His help and by His grace, WITHOUT exception.
You have also said: “I cannot help the way I feel,” but that is one of the great and chief deceptions of the adversary and is contrary to the Word of God and to passing this mortal probation.
We are here in large measure to manage (control) our feelings with God’s help; NOT for our feelings to manage (control) us.
IF natural feelings were the true measure, there would have been:
▪ No atonementIF “true” feelings were to govern, there would be:
And [Jesus] went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt (Matthew 26:39);▪ No Moses or Joshua to lead the Children of Israel because these prophets (like most all the others) felt afraid, insecure, unworthy, inadequate, & so forth;
▪ No Esther to save a nation (& hundreds of other examples).
▪ No loving of one’s enemiesAlmost nothing of God’s will would be accomplished in this life if we were governed by our feelings, because we ALL must overcome the natural man / woman:
▪ No forgiveness
▪ Fewer tithes and offerings
▪ Less Sabbath observance
▪ More pride and narcissism
▪ Less confession and repentance
▪ More pursuit of the things, praise, and approval of the world (The Three Temptations)
▪ & so forth
For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. (Book of Mormon | Mosiah 3:19)We make right choices according to God’s Will and Word, often against how we feel, because God gives us the strength to do His will; to keep our promises and covenants when we have no strength or feeling for it.
▪ We feel hungry, yet we fast.Satan wants us to feel guilty for what others have done to us or have wrongfully blamed us for.
▪ We feel angry, yet we strive to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving.
▪ We feel afraid, but we commit to walk in His Word and Will.
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. (Isaiah 41:10)
Satan wants us to feel condemned and rejected for mistakes and sins, when Jesus has already paid the price if we will just confess our wrongs and weaknesses and ask for His help and forgiveness.
Satan wants us to think peace and happiness are to be found in changing our circumstances instead of changing ourselves, our perceptions, our attitudes, our pursuits.
Beloved Friend: please, do as Jesus did when he was tempted / attacked by Satan (Luke 4). After each encounter, the Savior responded, “It is written, …”; (and then He quoted scripture); SO when you have feelings like anger, worthlessness, emptiness, etc.—feelings that have been recycling in your life for decades—feelings that do not have their source in God—know that you are under attack, and then counter those negatives and lies, ten-thousand times ten-thousand, if necessary, with the power of God’s word:
… the worth of [my] soul is great in the sight of God; (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 18:10)Find words of God that counter Satan’s emotion-based lies—find words that sustain gospel values and flood your mind with those words of truth to drown-out the whisperings, lies, distortions, and confusions of the adversary.
… for in his strength I can do all things; (Alma 26:12; 20:4)
This is my witness: that whatever burdens you carry, whether self-inflicted or other-inflicted, you are a soul of great worth who yet needs healing—like the rest of us. You are a soul whose mission and purpose must be higher than the pursuits and rewards of this world. God has not brought you thus far or allowed so much suffering in your life, except He has a spiritual place and purpose for you in helping build His kingdom, if you will but see and hear and do.
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1. There are many who say we do not need to be “fixed”; that we are whole and complete as we are; that, like an acorn, we have the “complete tree” within us; BUT if we run this philosophy through scripture, we see that agency can warp the development / perfection of the seed; that because the blueprint shows one thing, the building may end up being constructed quite differently, thus needing to be fixed. As to “affirmation” therapy, that too needs to be run through scripture. God affirms our self-worth, but laments a great deal about the continual déjà vu of His children rejecting Him plan and will as they continually pursue their “our way.” Perhaps “affirmation” of our thoughts, feelings, and actions has done more damage to the plan of God for our lives than we can possibly imagine.
PS: For those who really want more help in healing, the ministry of Joyce Meyer may be eye- and heart-opening.
